by DeWitt Hoopes
At some point in of our lives, we run across someone, whether it is family, a friend, business colleague, or complete stranger, that will ask for a financial favour. In some rare instances, the inclination to help can be a noble one, and after careful and diligent retrospect, and in most cases, people will be honourable and pay your good deed back. However, there is that case, or two in your life, where this friend, family member, or colleague will not only not pay you back, but will keep coming back for another dose of request for help. My old adage after having experienced this years ago, and hopefully have become more wiser, and aware of what little games people play on how to manipulate your feelings, and what buttons to push. I guess the colloquialism they use today is called “Gaslighting”. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, fool me thrice, put my head in a vice!
Well, not all is lost, and you don’t have to feel defeated whatsoever, and you have strength and courage to defeat those that feel you are their biological ATM. With introspect to deflect those that will try to come at you again and again. Your hard work, finances, and family should not be sacrificed at the expense of someone else’s issues. Not to be callous, but nine our of ten times, those wanting financial assistance, or for you to co-sign on an application to buy that car, home, rental, or other financial endeavour, invariably end up with you holding the stick, with no delicious marshmallow on the end, and only you and your stick got burned in the proverbial camp fire.
If you feel that you have been caught in the perpetual abuse of those coming back every four or six months, and showing you how their lives are in turmoil, and they need more assistance so they can pay that bill you never really knew existed, or they will pay you back after you have put that deposit down on their new home, yet never have anything but their word of honor, or they will make you part of a big business deal, or that they will pay you back when their home sells after their home goes through escrow, but never really happens, because they already spent that money, well good luck with that, because they will be coming back to you for more, until you say enough!
Now, to clarify, you should help your fellow human, and myself have had help from family, and friends, and have paid them back. There is the human need to help someone in true need, and is not wrong to do so, and the cases like orphans and widows, or someone that was it hard from that job layoff. The situation that should be of difference is those that seem to take purposeful advantage and refuse to lift themselves up, and feel that coming back to you is much more simpler way of tackling their issues.
Another way of helping is supporting your local church so they can help with their finances to spread mission work, or your local food bank, though not all are inclined obviously to do this, but having wisdom and discernment are key gifts that myself have prayed for. Yes, prayed for, and my maternal grandmother was gifted with the spiritual gift of discernment, and one day will share a unique and scary story from the 1970s that she felt that had happened to her friend. My grandmother also warned me about personal financial issues she could sense that were not good, and to walk away from, and oh how I wished I had listened to her then.
Those that are true believers in Jesus the Christ, and have been spiritually reborn, have what are known as “Fruits of The Spirit” available to them, and discernment is one of these gifts. Wisdom and discernment are two that I have prayed for, and ask for the Holly Spirit to intervene in my daily life, and for protection. If you want better clarification on Fruits of The Spirit, I highly recommend listening to John 3:16 Christian Ministries 7/28/2024 broadcast, “The Spiritual Gift Of Discerning Of Spirits”, which is archived on our sister channel, Bview. The link to this is on our BNS page.
Don’t ever get despondent, and don’t ever feel you are being heartless either. There comes a time when you need to take care of your own household, and those that have this entitlement attitude where you should be at their beck and call, and demand you provide them that financial lifeline, as if they were on your payroll, or financial security net needs to come to an immediate end. Trust me on this, when I personally turned my troubles over to Jesus, and asked for the Holly Spirit to handle my affairs, it was an immediate life changing effect. Spirits are for real, just make sure you choose the one that will be your friend and helper, which is the Holly Spirit. He will be there to guide you on this Earth, and woe to those that come between you and the Holly Spirit.
You are a child of God, once you have turned over your life to Jesus, and you have more power on your side than you can possibly imagine, and your happiness and life does not belong to anyone else but to God.
