Last week I met a man struggling to understand the world and his place in it. We’ll call him Bo. Bo’s having marital problems and is contemplating divorce. My husband has been spending time to help him sort through it. While talking with Bo, it was obvious that this man doesn’t know who he is.
The worst part is that it’s how he was raised.
By his own account, Bo grew up sheltered, raised by domineering parents who told him what to do and how to think. Bo is a grown, intelligent man with an engineering degree, but he admitted that he doesn’t like to read. That’s too bad.
It is through reading and learning about the world around us that we also learn about ourselves, and I think if my husband and I could introduce Bo to reading and exploring the city, he could start to better understand himself. What he likes. What he doesn’t like. What he’s willing to tolerate in a partner. What his values and dealbreakers are. He doesn’t have to read all the books and smash his television to become some enlightened soul. That’s not what I’m getting at. But he does need to be open to situations that introduce him to how others are different and how others experience the world.
I pointed out to Bo that my husband and I have each read 27 books so far this year. We read some of the same books but not many. We enjoy different genres. We also read with our son every day. It’s an evening ritual. Each of us has a book we’re working through with him, and we read a chapter a night.
I hope knowing this can inspire Bo to pick up a book and read with his young son too. That time together can help them both discover themselves while discovering the world around them. If this turmoil between Bo and his wife is hard on Bo, imagine how hard it must be on his son. Kids are sponges; they soak up all that is happening around them, whether they talk about it or not.
So why not lean into some shared time enjoying a book?
Reading is a core activity that can help children feel loved because a grownup has chosen to spend time with them in a story. No, a movie does not offer the same benefits. I’m not anti-movie. Yes, go see a movie; that’s fun too. But a movie is passive, not interactive. Plus, children learn language socially, not from screens.
Humans need the context that social-emotional interaction provides. Reading aloud offers that because it’s done with a loving adult, then talked about. The child also gets to make deep emotional connections through reading. A movie holds maybe a tenth of the context that the book of the same story holds.
Through literature you can expand your imagination and foster empathy by experiencing the world from different perspectives.
I firmly believe this activity will help both Bo and his son. I sincerely hope we can pass this joyful activity on to them. We invited them to join us at an author event with someone who writes books for children and adults. I hope they join us. I truly believe reading books is a glorious way to cope through hard times while also continuing to learn and grow throughout our lives.
Bonnie Jean Feldkamp’s column is syndicated by Creators.
This post was originally published on here
