Blur star Dave Rowntree’s terminally ill ex-wife forced to travel to Dignitas alone to end own life

Blur drummer Dave Rowntree has criticised ‘psychopathic’ laws on assisted death as he revealed for the first time that his terminally ill ex-wife felt compelled to end her life alone in Switzerland earlier this year.

The 60 year old voiced his frustration over existing laws that present some people with terminal illnesses with the ‘brutal’ choice of wanting to end their lives, but being unable to legally request assistance from others. His remarks come just weeks before a new bill proposing changes to the law on assisted dying in England and Wales under strict controls is due to be published.

Rowntree married Paola Marra in 1994 but the pair divorced in the early 2000s. Despite splitting, Rowntree was one of the people to support his ex-wife after she was diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer and later made the decision to end her own life in Zurich, Switzerland.

Marra, a Canadian, opted to fly out alone in March this year after facing several rounds of arduous treatment and surgeries. Knowing her cancer was terminal, she didn’t want to face a probably painful and undignified death. Her pain was made worse due to the fact she was allergic to painful painkillers.

Speaking six months on from his ex-wife’s death at Dignitas in Switzerland, Rowntree used the word ‘psychopathic’ to describe the current laws related to assisted dying in the UK that he claims show “absolutely no empathy for the sufferer”. His comments come in the run-up to November’s a bill proposing legalisation of assisted dying in England and Wales under strict controls.

The topic of assisted dying is one that divides opinion in the UK. Many members of the public – and celebrities like Dame Esther Rantzen – want the government to follow in the footsteps of the likes of New Zealand, Switzerland and Australia and allow terminally ill adults to end their life on their own terms.

However, many – and several MPs – have raised concerns over assisted dying, with fears a new law could be abused and put some disabled and vulnerable people at risk. Improved palliative care is one alternative those opposed to the bill are pushing as the complex issue is debated ahead of next month’s bill.

Speaking in an emotional interview, Rowntree said of the current legality surrounding assisted dying: “It is the system washing its hands of difficult problems in a way that I can’t stomach. That’s the whole point of the state. The state can declare war … And if the state isn’t going to take these kind of difficult decisions, what the f**k is the point in having the state? This is psychopathic, where we are now, because the whole point of this [should be] to try to make things easier for the real victim in this – the terminally ill person.”

The drummer, who also lost his father to bowel cancer this year, went on to tell the Guardian how he initially tried to convince his ex-wife not to travel to Switzerland to die. He tried to persuade Marra to prepare for a comfortable death at home in London. When she decided to go ahead with Dignitas, Rowntree offered to travel to Switzerland with his ex-wife but couldn’t due to the possibility he could for assisting suicide under current UK laws.

However, heartbreakingly, Marra changed her mind and asked Rowntree to fly over once she landed in Zurich. The musician told the Guardian how his ex told him “I don’t know if I can do this on my own” and he immediately began searching for flights out there. She then called him back to urge him not to come and she died alone the following morning.

Before her passing, Marra requested Rowntree support a change to the law. “I certainly wouldn’t support any bill that allows anyone to kill anyone else,” explained in the interview, going on to add how the current law made those wanting to take control of their passing amid a terminal diagnosis “a pariah”.

Noting how anyone even suspected of helping a loved one end their own life risks a 14-year jail sentence, Rowntree mused: “It’s utterly brutal for the ill person because anyone they tell is potentially at risk of arrest, so they have to creep around like a criminal.”

Earlier this month, Dame Esther Rantzen lauded Labour MP Kim Leadbeater as “an extraordinary person” following her introduction of an assisted dying bill to Parliament. The esteemed broadcaster and campaigner, Dame Rantzen, expressed her admiration for Spen Valley MP Leadbeater, who she described as “an extraordinary person”, after the latter presented the assisted dying bill to Parliament earlier this month.

“She’s so impressive,” Dame Rantzen gushed, ” She’s entirely motivated by the desire to make a positive difference for people.” Having been diagnosed with stage four lung cancer in January 2023, Dame Rantzen previously disclosed her plans to travel to Switzerland, one of the few countries where regulated assisted dying is legal, to undergo the procedure. Speaking about Leadbeater’s motivation, she said, “She’s entirely motivated by the desire to make a positive difference for people, her sister having been murdered in the most appalling circumstances, which is why she took on the role,” In conversation with LBC presenter Andrew Marr, she added: “So, I admire her a lot. They always say, don’t they, that politics is the art of the possible.”

Leadbeater’s Choice at the End of Life bill will have its second reading in Parliament on Friday November 29, marking the first time MPs have debated the subject in Parliament since 2015. When asked about considering Dignitas for assisted dying, Dame Esther Rantzen confirmed: “Yes, absolutely. I mean, I don’t assume that I will be around long enough for the law to change.”,

She expressed her wish to pass away peacefully at home, saying, “Obviously, like everybody, I would like to die with an opportunity to say goodbye to the people who are closest to me, friends and family in my own home. That would be amazing.” Despite not seeing it as a possibility due to UK laws, she added, “I have never thought that was possible, actually, because of the criminal law here, and I didn’t think that I’d be around in time to see any change in the law. But if that were to happen that would be amazing. In the meantime, as you say, I plan to go to Switzerland if I have to.”

However, Dame Esther also mentioned that life is still valuable to her, especially now that she’s on a new medication: “But life is still very much worth living at the moment,” she said, while acknowledging the unexpected nature of her situation: “Although I have to say that I didn’t plan any of this, you know, I mean, people say in some indignation, why should anyone pay any attention to what Esther Rantzen thinks and I agree with them, you know, there are many more important people around than me for heaven’s sake.”

The introduction of Leadbeater’s bill in Parliament has been met with approval from assisted dying campaigners, who see it as a chance to offer dying individuals control over their final moments. Conversely, opponents of assisted dying warn that the bill could lead to a dangerous precedent, potentially coercing individuals into ending their lives to avoid burdening their families.

*If you’re struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email [email protected] or visit their site to find your local branch

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