At two minutes and 45 seconds into Christmas on Call, a new Philly-set Hallmark holiday movie, the female lead’s nosey elderly neighbor, Mrs. Martino, makes the film’s first inside reference to Philadelphia.
“I haven’t slept past sunrise since Frank Rizzo was mayor,” Martino says, while forcing a container of homemade manicotti upon her new neighbor.
It was at this point I buckled up, because I knew I was in for a ride, though whether it was a roller coaster or a train wreck remained to be seen.
Of course the female lead, Hannah Williams, an emergency room doctor played by actor Sara Canning, just moved to Philly a month ago and has no idea who Rizzo is, but she’ll find out soon enough (not in this movie though, cause he’s never mentioned again).
Christmas on Call, which premiered Friday, is one of two new Hallmark holiday movies featuring a cameo by Donna Kelce, who is making her acting debut. The mom of retired Eagles center Jason Kelce and current Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce also has a small part as the manager of a barbecue restaurant in Hallmark’s Holiday Touchdown: A Chiefs Love Story, which premieres Nov. 30.
In the Philly-set film she plays a cashier at a cheesesteak shop (Donna gets all the meaty parts) and despite a glaring faux pas in her Philadelphia colloquialisms, she was adorable in her role and in her son’s #62 Eagles jersey.
Jason Kelce is in the film too — but just his disembodied voice. The song that plays during the opening credits is “Santa Drives an Astrovan,” which he sings with Mt. Joy on the Philly Specials’ third Christmas album, A Philly Special Christmas Party, which was also released Friday.
Shameless pandering
As an unabashed fan of Hallmark holiday movies (the worse, the better) I was excited to break my longstanding tradition of not watching them before Thanksgiving so I could review this film. But as an even bigger fan of Philly I was nervous, particularly since this movie was filmed in Winnipeg, Canada, where there are no Wawas and the only Phanatic is someone who goes outside without a parka.
While the movie doesn’t feature any scenes of the actors in Philly, there are nice drone shots of the city — including some of the Benjamin Franklin Parkway, City Hall, the Philadelphia Museum of Art, and the Blue Cross RiverRink — though they have suspiciously more snow on them than we’ve had here in years.
But what the film lacks when it comes to Philly ambience it makes up for in shameless pandering. “Go Birds” is said at least half a dozen times in the 84-minute movie, there are references to no less than three fights, and all four of Philly’s biggest pro-sports teams get name dropped.
At one point, a character even says: “Philadelphians are my favorite people.”
That is some serious pandering, Hallmark, especially in a movie featuring the mom of someone who once proudly proclaimed in front of the entire city: “No one likes us, we don’t care.”
But Philadelphians really are my favorite people and like Bryce Harper, sometimes I pander to them as well, so I can’t protest too much. I mean, if you don’t like pandering you probably shouldn’t be watching Hallmark holiday movies.
‘Whizout’
Christmas on Call centers on the aforementioned Hannah Williams, a new-to-the city ER doctor, and Wes Kemp, an EMT who is “Philly born-and-bred. Go Birds,” played by Ser’Darius Blain. As Wes brings patients to the ER, he starts chatting with Hannah and offers to show her around Philly when he learns she hasn’t been to South Street, to see the Christmas lights at Boathouse Row, or tried a cheesesteak yet.
They will do one of those three things in this movie and you can guess which one. If you thought you were making it out of a formulaic Hallmark Christmas movie about Philly with less than 17 cheesesteak references and at least one Rocky reference, you thought wrong.
At the unnamed cheesesteak shop where they meet Donna Kelce, whose character is also named Donna, Hannah asks for a menu and Donna tells her they don’t have one.
“Do you want onions?” Donna asks. “Whiz or Whizout?”
Hannah responds “Pardon?” which was my reaction too because in my 17 years in Philly I’ve never heard the phrase “Whizout.” I’ve heard Whiz wit and witout and even Whiz witout, but never “Whizout.” To make sure it wasn’t just me, I asked Philadelphians on three social media platforms if they’d ever heard of the phrase. Respondents universally agreed that it is definitely not a thing.
“Is that when you get so drunk that you blackout eating a cheesesteak?” one Bluesky user replied.
“Wizout feels much more ‘magical creature exiting a room’ vs ordering a cheesesteak,” another said.
Aside from that inexplicable slip-up (which I’m blaming on the writers and not Mama Kelce), Donna’s performance was short and sweet. It ends with her telling the starring couple: “Have fun kids, but not too much fun,” which is something I imagine she’s said to Jason Kelce more than once, to no avail (he has all the fun).
A silly subplot
Since the movie wasn’t filmed in Philadelphia, Hannah and Wes don’t actually do any of Philly’s best holiday traditions, like walking down the Miracle on South 13th Street or catching the old-timey lightshow at what was once Wanamaker’s and is now Macy’s (though there is a reference to “the old Wanamaker building” at one point). But their chemistry builds nicely, they’re both played by good actors (especially Blain, who is far more likable than many male leads in these films), and the movie portrays Philadelphians as good people willing to lend a hand to neighbor and stranger alike, which tracks.
The film also has a second, ridiculous subplot about two Philadelphia police officers with a romantic past who get assigned to patrol the city together. No matter that they work out of the 11th police precinct, which does not exist in Philly, where we call them districts instead of precincts and where they number up to the 39th, despite the fact we only have 21 (some districts have merged, leaving many numbers missing).
A big part of the cops’ storyline is dealing with two neighbors feuding over inflatable Christmas decorations, one of whom everyone agrees goes way too far when he says to other, who’s wearing an Eagles hoodie and plaid Jeff cap: “Why don’t you go cheer for a real football team, like the Cowboys. Giddy up!”
The officers also respond to fights between dads over a doll at a toy store, a snowball fight between out of control fifth graders (which one of them joins in on), and they’re requested for back up to “quell a disturbance at the Eagles game.”
If you’re worried the Birds aren’t repped enough in the movie, don’t be. Eagles merch and gear — from mugs to gloves — shows up at least eight times.
Other local references in Christmas on Call include: Father Judge High School, Lemon Hill, the Mummers, the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, Independence National Historical Park, Rittenhouse, Horsham, Chester, and the Phillies, Sixers, and Flyers.
While the film was not Whizout its hiccups, as Hallmark movies go, this one had a bit more plot and life-and-death drama than I’m used to, which was a nice surprise. That being said, like with all Hallmark holiday movies, there was never a moment in Christmas on Call I worried it wouldn’t have a happy ending, except for when Hannah gives Wes what she seems to think is a cutesy pet nickname — “Wiz With” (yes, with an ‘h’).
Girl, that’s just uncalled for.
This post was originally published on here
