The theme that runs through the core of John Crowley’s A24 Romance is in the title itself. We Live in Time is a heartfelt reminder yet tragic warning about the fact that time’s all we’ve got. And since time’s the most aching aspect of a relationship where one has terminal cancer, this Andrew Garfield and Florence Pugh-starrer holds together the pages of their life that’ll come to mind the most when one of them is gone.
Spoiler Alert
What happens in the film?
If you want to pop back over to the movie just to figure out the dizzying time jumps, I’ve got a trick for you. Keep an eye on Pugh’s Almut and her changing hairstyles through the different phases of her relationship with Tobias. When they meet, she’s got those short bangs. When her cancer returns, her hair’s golden and wavy. That baby bump’s enough to tell you that you’re in the phase when they’re expecting Ella. Switching back and forth, We Live in Time dances along the lifespan of Almut and Tobias’ relationship. They had a particularly weird meet-cute. Tobias was running after the pens and chocolate oranges he dropped on his way back from the grocery store when Almut’s car hit him. They were very different people. Almut was a driven, experimental chef while Tobias was this passive, awkward rep for a breakfast cereal brand. Almut was bisexual and generally wary of the idea of settling into heteronormative expectations. And Tobias was a traditional guy at his core. But love happened despite their doubts about whether they should even picture a future together, and love sort of became that intersection where each of their orbits collided. When Almut beat cancer and they had Ella, they were exactly where they wanted to be in love and in life. But Almut’s cancer returned, and this time it didn’t seem like it’d let up. When she faces the briefness of her time in the life that she adores, Almut can’t help but want to actually live in the months to come, however many she gets to stay on for.
How was Almut and Tobias’ relationship?
Tobias was in a pretty bad place when he met Almut. He hadn’t even signed the divorce papers yet. And for someone who lost his previous relationship because his wife had chosen her career over him, it must’ve been a little scary to get close to someone like Almut. She’s the kind of person who pours a lot of herself into whatever she does. She’s a chef now, which is a pretty taxing job, but she was also a skilled figure-skater once, a hobby she’d perfected just because she enjoyed that time with her dad. Tobias took the plunge. Almut was kinda taking the leap of faith too. Tobias really wanted kids, and Almut never saw herself in that life. But all these conflicts couldn’t make them deny the fact that they wanted to be with each other too much to factor those in. But things changed along the way. Almut had to pick between a total and a partial hysterectomy. Maybe it’s the thought that a total hysterectomy would completely close the door on ever having a baby that made her have second thoughts. At this point, Almut at least wanted to keep herself open to the possibility of a world where she’d have a baby with Tobias, which was a big shift from the person she’d been when she thought that there was no world where she could see herself wanting that. She wanted to have a baby so much that she actually risked a relapse and went for that partial hysterectomy. When the cancer returned and the chemo didn’t work, Almut chose happiness over spending the rest of her little time only in pain. Almut absolutely meant to marry Tobias when he proposed. They even booked the venue and had the invites printed. But there was a part of herself that Almut was hiding from Tobias.
What does ending mean?
It’s not that communication wasn’t great between Almut and Tobias. They talked and took a very mindful approach to breaking the news to their toddler. But Almut kept Tobias in the dark about the fact that she’d been physically exerting herself to a major extent to achieve a dream. She did bring it up when her boss told her about the Bocuse d’Or, this very prestigious competition of chefs, but Tobias thought that going for it would be too much on Almut. She went for it in secret and even crossed one of the levels. She was worried that Tobias would put her health over her dream and keep her from pursuing it. But since the date of the Euro heat clashed with their wedding date, she knew that at some point soon, she’d have to come out and say it. When Tobias freaked out, Almut explained why she chose to go for the competition knowing that it wasn’t the best choice for her health. She wanted to leave an achievement behind so her daughter would see her as more than just the way she died. It was an act of Almut choosing to be herself in the very little time she had. After her passing, she wanted to be remembered by her drive and her victories. She didn’t just want to be someone’s dead mom.
Tobias has learned to love Almut the way she needs to be loved. He understands her enough to know that her ambitions are a part of who she is. He’s figured that they don’t need a wedding to validate their love. If you remember, Tobias’ dad had a story about what his mom said when he’d proposed to her. She was the kind of person who didn’t believe that a relationship needed witnesses and a document to be meaningful. Brought up around a love like that, Tobias is secure about the love that he and Almut share. Asking her to prioritize her health over the competition would be the same as asking her not to be herself. So Tobias and Ella are right there to cheer Almut on as she conquers the round. And just as she’s done, Almut goes right for her family and takes them to the ice skating rink. A big part of her life was spent out on the ice making memories with her father. And when he died, Almut couldn’t face the ice anymore. By bringing Ella there, Almut wants her daughter to know everything about what makes her who she is.
We Live in Time’s ending leaps over Almut’s death and allows it to be a private thing that’ll live in the memories of those who love her. But in the end, we see how Almut lives on in the smallest of things. Almut taught Tobias the right way to crack eggs when they first started seeing each other. When Tobias teaches little Ella the same trick, We Live in Time underscores a truth about grief. Those who love a person who’s no more love them and remember them in the most mundane, habitual things. People are remembered more in the small things than the big achievements. And it looks like Tobias got that dog after all. It was Almut’s idea to get a dog so Ella could have a less traumatizing first brush with death. But she was just panicking. I think she’d prefer it much more that Ella now has a furry friend to help her deal with just how much she misses her mom.
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