No, this is not “Red Notice” starring Dwayne Johnson and Ryan Reynolds, a globe trotting buddy cop adventure that went straight to streaming. This is “Red One”, starring Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans doing his best Ryan Reynolds impression, as they go on a globe trotting buddy cop adventure that should’ve gone straight to streaming.
The announcement of this movie alone was enough for me to not be interested, but once those trailers dropped, I knew I wasn’t. So that begs the question, is “Red One” any good? At all? Not really. But does it at least offer a mildly entertaining, creatively formulaic plot that “The Rock” insists is good filmmaking, with visual effects that make you wonder where that $250 million budget went in the end? Well, “mildly entertaining” might be hyping it up a little too much.
Somehow, this cast is stacked and not a single actor is put to good use. J.K. Simmons is a jacked Santa whose only purpose is to be a plot device. Lucy Liu delivers generic action slop dialogue so unconvincingly that I genuinely forgot she was in this film until I began writing this sentence. A decent amount of the dialogue is cookie-cutter bland, with the last two lines of the movie being painfully unaware of itself. “The Rock” and Chris Evans have some half-decent chemistry that drags this movie to its ending. This is 120 minutes of two charming individuals pretending to have chemistry, as well as another beloved storytelling device that Johnson has inserted himself into; Christmas.
If there’s one thing that I can wholeheartedly say that I liked about this movie, it’s the use of mythology and world building. Almost everything about this film screams “make cash fast,” except for its world building, which I can greatly appreciate. The use of fairytale characters such as Krampus and Gryla make it stand apart from other holiday movies that this clearly takes from. If I’m going to watch a film about a secret organization of mythical beings, I’m going to watch “Rise of the Guardians.” But if you want to watch “Rise of the Guardians” and “Men in Black” at the exact same time, “Red One” is the perfect viewing experience for you.
1 and a half stars out of 4
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