Listen to this article“I could never work with my spouse.”
It’s a phrase we’ve often heard over the past 20 years when people learn that we run a business together as a married couple.
To some, the idea of working so closely with a spouse sounds overwhelming, even impossible. For us, the decision to start our company together wasn’t made lightly. It came with significant risks – financial concerns, career uncertainties, and the added pressure it could place on our relationship.
Looking back now, as we celebrate our company’s 20th anniversary, it’s clear that the benefits have far outweighed the challenges we faced in the early years.
If you’re thinking about starting or are already running a business together, we hope the tips and insights we’ve gained along the way might be helpful to you.
1. Maintain boundaries
One of the most important lessons we’ve learned is to maintain clear boundaries between our work and home lives, as well as with the roles we bring to our company. It’s easy for the lines to blur, so establishing limits protects both your personal relationship and the health of your business.
We’ve found that our distinct professional backgrounds have been an asset in this regard. While we were always there to lend an ear, our skill sets and experience in different industries allowed us to delineate responsibilities and create complementary roles from the start. This separation of duties helps us avoid stepping on each other’s toes.
Working and living in a post-COVID world has made that even more interesting. At first, when we were doing virtual meetings, if we were both home, we’d try to take the meeting together. But we quickly realized that it was awkward for us, and frankly, probably for our clients and colleagues as well.
So now, even if we’re both home, we almost never take meetings together; we go to separate rooms and log in individually.
2. Develop a professional communication style
Couples naturally develop their own ways of communicating that works for them in personal settings. In the early days, we realized that the way we communicated with each other, while effective at home, needed to shift in the workplace. We wanted to ensure that our team viewed us as individual leaders, not just a married couple running a business.
Whether it’s giving feedback, making decisions, or discussing strategy, we make a point to communicate with the same level of respect and professionalism we expect from our team. This helps with external perceptions and strengthens our ability to work together effectively as co-founders.
Of course, that doesn’t mean there haven’t been a few occasions over the years where we’ve disagreed about something, and it probably sounds more like a married couple spat than business partners disagreeing. We’ve overheard a few colleagues, whispering facetiously, “Oh no, Mom and Dad are fighting again.”
3. Establish an identity outside of the business
Another lesson we’ve learned is about the need to maintain identities outside of our business.
We purposefully got involved with boards, events, and community activities to continue to evolve as individuals. While we are partners in business, we’re also independent people with our own unique strengths. This balance is key to thriving, both in business and in life.
For a while there, we may have gotten too good at that. We can recall a few occasions when one might show up at a networking event without the other. As Dave admits, if he showed up without Marie, he’d get the disappointed look and question, “Where’s Marie?” to which he would reply, “You’re stuck with me, unfortunately.”
4. Recognize the financial risk
Starting a new business venture is inherently risky. For us, the financial risk was even greater because we both left stable corporate jobs to pursue our dream. It wasn’t a decision we made lightly or overnight.
Early in our marriage, financial discipline was a value we both shared. Before starting a family, we lived on one income and saved the other. Having a strong finance foundation gave us the confidence to take this risk. This preparation was essential not only for our peace of mind but also for the viability of the company.
Having all our proverbial “eggs in one basket” pushed us toward success but also created risk. Balancing that risk with a solid financial plan can make all the difference in how you face the challenges of entrepreneurship. Fortunately, Marie had established clients from her sales and marketing consultancy that afforded us at least part-time outside income just to mitigate that risk.
As we celebrate 20 years in business, we know it’s only possible we got this far by intentionally focusing on a relationship based on mutual respect and trust we have for one another. It’s the driving factor behind our company’s culture, and what we believe our team values tremendously in their employer.
(Tomorrow, the Hartmans share the advice they’ve been given that’s helped them run their business.)
Dave and Marie Hartman are the founders of Hartman Executive Advisors.
This post was originally published on here
