There are many amongst us who are at a point where we, probably, are revisiting our decisions in life and wondering if we have lived our lives to the fullest of our potential. It happens to the best of us. And then we face what’s termed as the ‘midlife conundrum’.
Deepak Jayaraman’s book, Play To Potential – Lead a full life, become the best of you, is targeted for people like us who are caught in that web. Deepak, in his introduction, quite categorically mentions that this crisis doesn’t have an age limit. It can strike some in 40s and some might not see it even in their 60s. He explains that most of it is related to work-life balance. He elucidates it further when he discusses Type 1 and Type 2 personalities. He, however, says – ‘I would not like to place any value judgement on which is better.’ (sic) But admits that the book is for Type 2 kind as they would possibly relate better to the content.
According to Deepak, ‘potential’ and ‘play to potential’ are terms that differ from individual to individual and contextual. This is something that he emphasizes throughout the book. “I believe everything is contextual. I can’t make blanket statements. You can’t take things literally and make them black or white. Sometimes if we take it to an extreme it can cause harm. One thing that motivates somebody can drain somebody. So, context is always the decisive factor,” Deepak accentuates.
The book is inspired by and is an extension of the podcast Play To Potential by Deepak. It also is based on his experiences as a corporate and individual coach to varied organisations and his role as a talent hunter for CXOs in his prior job. There are strategies, comments and anecdotes which help the reader go deep inside to figure out ways to achieve their own potential. “These are my learnings from my own journey and from the journeys of my colleagues and podcast,” he shares. ‘The book has a default bias of helping provide perspectives that help people play the long game’. (sic)
The book recommends the FLAVOUR as the solution of most of the time. F=Family, L=Love, A=Aspiration, VO=Value and Opportunities, U=You and R=Relationships. He has a diagram in the chapter Crafting a FLAVOUR-ful- Life that explains this philosophy. He stresses, with examples, that how balance is important to derive and live your full potential.
What really intrigued me in the book was the chapter Limitations of Ikigai. When the world is raving about how that’s one of the best things that happened, Deepak decides to point out the limitations. “Having written that, I would like to say that I am a huge fan of Ikigai. I am not criticizing the approach. But it’s like a screwdriver – but it’s useful to know when it’s useful and when it’s not, right? I found that most people felt like it was like Mount Everest and too Utopian considering their messiness of life. Life keeps evolving, so I think it is useful but we need to approach it with caution.
While talking about mid-life crisis, Deepak mentions ‘By the midlife, we might have collected several experiences, some real data to reflect upon.’ (sic) He introduces the readers to his Maslow Shift concept. He expounds the point when he writes – ‘The human mind is built to deal with a lot of complex problems, but somehow, we still seem to struggle when it comes to resolving some of the issues that come up around midlife.’ (sic)
“Today midlife is also a different, earlier, 40 was a midlife. Today, 50/55 in midlife and there there comes a point when you don’t know what to do with your careers where they want to change it or you’re nearing retirement age and there’s a fear in the mind that whether I will, what do I do after retirement because you are probably still wanting to you know go that extra mile and realise your potential and push your potentials and push your things,” he tells while discussing retirement as one of the midlife crisis.
He deals with this in the ninth chapter, Rediscovering Our FLAVOUR of the Season, where he tells the reader to go back to the values in 3,4,5 chapters where the inner self is discussed and take a leap of faith.
Deepak quite emphatically corrects me when I say that his book deals with the midlife crisis on a professional level, not personal. “It’s a combination of both, right? I think it’s a place where sometimes you’re doing greater work and family is not stable. Sometimes, you know, uh, uh, you’re struggling with finding the right job. We’re also living in a world where there are multiple pathways for people… We have this problem of paradox of choice where there’s too much choice and even in careers and I think therefore people are even used in terms of what choice they should pursue. So I think even that becomes a challenge.
The book emphasizes about self-awareness with references of Vedas, Plato, Socrates, Plato and Descartes. It also distinguishes between internal and external self-awareness.
Meta-Skills for FLAVOUR-ful Life tells us about embracing our uniqueness and look at interesting possibilities emerging. He reminds us that it is all about the choices we make. ‘Skills we need to be FLAVOUR-ful on an ongoing basis can be different from the skills and mindsets we need to navigate a transition to a new normal,’ (sic).
Does he think the acceptance of your own uniqueness is lesser in India? “I’m not sure if there’s a geographical trend here. To be honest, I think. There are all kinds of cases everywhere. There are people playing to potential in India, not plating to potential in the US and vice versa, so I don’t think there’s a there’s a there is a geographic cut here. I see some of the other markets, there’s a little more acceptance to be yourself and to express yourself. I think India is still a little bit of… What will society think kind of a thing. But I think that’s going to change.”
The book also tells the readers about the importance of ‘pause’. He recommends four timescales. Why four? “Four is not a magic number that I have derived. I just say that when you pause in different time scales, you deliver different benefits,” says Deepak. “When you pause hourly, it sort of gives you centered. When you pause weekly, you get clarity on your to do. When you pause annually, we probably get clarity on your why. The point I make is different pauses have different benefits. So, try and incorporate the different kinds of pauses to reap the different benefits.”
Deepak explains how to use the book in his Introduction. You will find diagrams, sketches, illustrations at the end of every chapter and between. There are QR codes which when scanned give access to some podcasts mentioned in the book. Anecdotes shared with names of the persons help the readers relate to the content. He has also, skilfully, used quotes from Lincoln, Michael Jackson and others and Hindi songs to start each chapter which helps engage the reader.
To conclude, Play To Potential is an interesting self-help book that will help you be aware of your own strengths.
Book Name: Play to Potential
Author: Deepak Jayaraman
Publisher: Penguin
Pages: 276
Price: Rs 558
This post was originally published on here
