Warren Buffett Acquires Elon Musk’s Tesla for $1 Trillion in Cash

Legendary investor Warren Buffett has announced that Berkshire Hathaway will acquire Tesla for a staggering $1 trillion in cash. The 94-year-old “Oracle of Omaha,” long known for his disinterest in tech stocks and electric vehicles, reportedly contacted Elon Musk directly to make the unprecedented offer.

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“While I’ve publicly maintained that I don’t understand tech companies, I’ve secretly been driving a Cybertruck around my Nebraska neighborhood at night,” Buffett reportedly told investors on an early morning conference call on Tuesday, April 1.

Here’s more on the deal.

Cash Deal Breaks Records

The all-cash transaction represents the largest acquisition in business history. It’s truly astounding in comparison to the previous record, which was Vodafone’s $203 billion purchase of Mannesmann in 2000.

“I’ve been keeping the money in a shoebox under my bed,” Buffett quipped when asked how Berkshire Hathaway could afford such an enormous purchase.

Financial analysts are scrambling to make sense of the deal, particularly given Buffett’s historical preference for companies with predictable cash flows and strong competitive advantages in stable industries.

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Buffett’s Secret EV Passion

During the call, Buffett shared that he’s been a closet electric vehicle enthusiast for years, and that he owns a collection of every Tesla model ever made.

“I’ve been telling people I still drive my old Cadillac, but the truth is I’ve put 100,000 miles on my Model S,” Buffett said. “I’ve been doing donuts in the Costco parking lot.”

The acquisition comes just days after Buffett mentioned in his annual shareholder letter that Berkshire Hathaway was “struggling to find attractive large acquisitions.” Apparently, he found one.

Musk To Stay On as ‘Chief Meme Officer’

Perhaps most surprising is that Elon Musk has agreed to remain with the company, taking on the newly created role of “chief meme officer” while Buffett will personally oversee day-to-day operations.

“Warren promised me I could still tweet whatever I want,” Musk told reporters. “Plus, he’s giving me unlimited Cherry Coke and See’s Candies. Have you tried those peanut brittle things? Love those little guys!”

APRIL FOOLS! This article is entirely satirical and was published on April 1, 2025. Warren Buffett has not acquired Tesla, and all quotes and information in this piece are fictional.

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