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Like with any other holiday, there have been several notable horror films that wouldn’t exist without Valentine’s Day. It is the eventful day that gives their narratives a reason to be. Naturally, like with Halloween or Christmas, results vary, but there are still some delightfully scary Valentine’s slashers and chillers out there to enjoy. In fact, not every horror movie that seems tailor-made for Valentine’s Day viewing even has anything to do with the holiday. There are others that just have a gruesome love story at their center. Those slightly varying types of movies are the ones that follow.
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But we’re going for genuinely good movies here. That eliminates Lovers Lane, which does have a cultural curiosity factor because it’s one of Anna Faris’ few pre-Scary Movie roles. It also eliminates Valentine, which has a few game performances, especially Marley Shelton’s, but it’s very hard to call it anything above a subpar post-Scream slasher without the Ghostface saga’s smarts. The ridiculous Cupid mask doesn’t help it, either.
7) X-Ray
X-Ray aka Hospital Massacre is more in line with Prom Night than Halloween in that the script isn’t always top notch and it does seem comfortable delving into cliches. It even goes so far as to name a character Dr. Carpenter, which is akin to when Schwarzenegger would say “I’ll be back” in movies beyond the original Terminator.
Regardless, it manages to be creepier than many of its B-level early ’80s slasher brethren, with a dynamite opening scene and a score that oscillates between Harry Manfredini’s work on Friday the 13th and The Omen-esque chanting. It’s not high art, but X-Ray is a bloody good time for those with a proclivity for slashers. It’s also one of the few slashers genuinely set on Valentine’s Day, both in terms of its opening scene and the main event, set 19 years later.
Stream X-Ray for free on Tubi.
6) Fresh
Fresh manages to take a narrative about cannibalism of all things and turn it into an intelligent look at modern dating. It also has a satirical undertone that really helps its runtime coast along.
But the aspect of the Hulu movie that allows it to excel is the one that’s most important: the casting of the leads. Both Sebastian Stan and, especially, Daisy Edgar-Jones are remarkably good in their roles, with a complex chemistry that makes you care for them even when it turns out one of the two has a very odd appetite.
Stream Fresh on Hulu.
5) Bride of Chucky
After the mundane Child’s Play 3 it was clear the Chucky franchise needed a shot in the arm. And, with Ronny Yu and a warped sense of humor, it got just that with Bride of Chucky.
Bride excels when it’s embracing the humor of a highly dysfunctional relationship, but it doesn’t forget to be an effective Chucky movie either. We get (meta) kills and jokes about doing dishes in equal measure.
4) Bride of Frankenstein
We’re not far from the release of Maggie Gyllenhaal’s The Bride!, so now’s a great time to watch Bride of Frankenstein regardless of the Valentine’s Day holiday. But the holiday definitely helps, because this movie definitely does have a romantic focus, even if the titular Bride herself only pops up for a few minutes towards the end.
The original Frankenstein was already a winner, but bride tops it at every turn. It’s even more emotionally hard-hitting, has razor-sharp character development, and even comes equipped with a sense of humor.
3) Ready or Not
Ready or Not is a love story where the flame gets extinguished on the night when it should be at its healthiest. And all it took was pulling the wrong card on game night.
This Radio Silence (Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett) modern horror classic has as much intelligence as their pair of Scream films if not even more so, but the real ace up its sleeve is Samara Weaving. She is her generation’s definitive scream queen, and it is going to be very exciting to see what she and Radio Silence have cooking for us in Ready or Not 2: Here I Come.
Stream Ready or Not on fuboTV.
2) Heart Eyes
Like most other entries on this list, Heart Eyes has a nice little sense of humor working for it. In fact, it’s this one that has the most overt sense of humor of them all, and it’s pretty admirable how often its jokes land, right down to the fact that its two detective characters are named Hobbs and Shaw.
Just as important as the humor is the chemistry between Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding as well as its ability to make good use of slasher tropes. It’s not terrifying, but it knows how to build tension and give a jolt when it needs to.
Stream Heart Eyes on Netflix.
1) My Bloody Valentine (1981)
It may not have led to a franchise outside a solid remake 28 years down the line, but My Bloody Valentine is without a doubt one of the very best slasher movies ever made. It easily secured our number one spot here.
However, there’s really only one way to watch it and that’s the director’s cut, which is thankfully now far more accessible than it once was. With two great settings in the mining town and the mine itself as well as characters who feel authentic, My Bloody Valentine is easy to watch every single February.
Stream My Bloody Valentine for free on Tubi.
Which of these will you give a shot on Valentine’s Day? Leave a comment below and join the conversation now in the ComicBook Forum!
