I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase that everyone grieves differently. Well, that’s true for the abuse victims as well. No one really knows how one is going to react in a certain condition. The thing is, their actions are mostly influenced by their personal traits, experiences, and cultural upbringing. [Spoiler Alert] In It Ends with Us itself, we came across two victims of domestic violence who reacted differently to their situation. One is Lily’s mother, Jenny, who didn’t have the courage to leave her abusive husband, Andrew Bloom, while the other one is Lily herself, who decided to break that cycle of abuse and left her husband, Ryle Kincaid, so that her daughter wouldn’t have to see what Lily had seen in her childhood. However, you have to understand that It Ends with Us is a fictional tale, and in real life, things are much more complicated than what we saw in the film. There is no Atlas Corrigan waiting for most of us, and if one ever decides to raise their voice against their abuser, they find themselves at a war with the rest of the world as well. And sometimes, for a single mother, it’s not so easy, and I say this because I have seen mine.
Spoiler Alert
Why Did Lily Leave Ryle?
It is true that sometimes, one lifetime isn’t enough to completely understand someone. People are made up of so many intricate details that it isn’t easy to take notice of each and every bit of it. That is what happened with Lily and Ryle. When he first met her on the terrace, he told her about a young boy who accidentally shot his six-year-old brother. The accident destroyed the boy for a lifetime because you know that he won’t be able to forget that traumatic incident ever and spend the rest of his life in guilt. From a very young age, Ryle was afraid of losing people in his life. And sometimes, when you are too scared, you become scary for others.
The first time Ryle really snapped was when he burned his frittata. At that moment, he lost control of himself and raised his hand on Lily. They believed it was an accident, but the issue was much deeper than they thought. Later, he found Atlas’ number at the back of Lily’s mobile case, which made him believe that Lily was having a secret affair with her lover from the past and was going to leave him. She tried to explain the situation, but Ryle wasn’t the kind of person who would “listen.” I am not even considering how he pushed her on the staircase, but I am more concerned about how he reacted when he found Atlas’ number. Here, you have to understand that Ryle needed therapy for his past traumas. His fear of losing people not only affects his actions but also suffocates the people around him. He wanted to “own” Lily just like her father wanted to “tame” her mother. The abuse is not always similar but is often familiar.
It was the final nail in the coffin when Ryle’s possessiveness brought out the worst in him. He accused Lily of hiding the truth about her “tattoo.” Here, Lily did hide a few facts about it, but not because she wanted to. It was because Ryle wasn’t ready to hear the truth. Sometimes, people don’t lie for their own benefit, but because they want to avoid unnecessary drama and tension. Atlas was an important part of Lily’s past. Those memories she had with him made her the woman she had become. She wasn’t ashamed of dating a homeless guy or any moment she had spent with him, but Ryle couldn’t understand it. He wanted Lily to erase her past as if it never happened. My question is: Why do you want a person to completely lose a part of their life when it has now become a part of who they are? The past is what makes us…us. Ryle, in his jealousy, not only tried to hurt Lily but also left a mark on her collarbone where the tattoo was. It seemed as if he wanted to bite that tattoo off her body in the most monstrous way possible. The entire incident also reminded Lily of how her father used to abuse her mother in the living room. Lily had already seen one monster in her life; she didn’t want to end up with another, and that was the reason why she left Ryle the moment she realized that he wasn’t the person he pretended to be. Even though Ryle didn’t realize it, his past trauma had been affecting his actions, and he needed help more than anyone else. That was the reason why his sister, Allysa, didn’t try to defend his actions and asked Lily to never return to that man again. Lily had made her decision on the very same night, but the news of her pregnancy put her in a dilemma, and she needed time to think about it before taking any drastic steps.
Why Did Lily Decide To Keep The Baby?
Someone like Lily, who had been a victim of domestic violence, wouldn’t have wanted to bring a child into the world, especially when the child’s father was someone like Ryle Kincaid. That was why Lily was confused about her way going forward when the doctors informed her about her pregnancy. I truly believe that Lily might have aborted her baby if Atlas wasn’t around to change her mind. Atlas, too, had been a victim of abuse and couldn’t really understand why her mother was attracted to sick psychos who would raise hands upon her. As said earlier, everyone reacts to abuse differently, and Atlas wanted Lily not to end up like either of their mothers, stuck in that cycle and losing her existence. He wanted her to bring the kid to the world, as he believed Lily would become the best mother. She was intelligent and brave enough to understand what would be best for her and her kid. Lily’s mother had few options in life. It was a different time and a different circumstance. But by breaking the barrier, Lily set an example that not many will understand but will surely cherish.
During the last stages of her pregnancy, she even let Ryle visit the house, and I guess she might have forgiven him, too, but she wasn’t ready to go back. After the baby was born, she let Ryle see her daughter’s face because he had gotten quite emotional when his sister’s baby was born. However, the happiness was short-lived. Lily soon asked him for a divorce, as she didn’t want her daughter to end up like her. She couldn’t save herself from being in an abusive relationship like her mother’s, but it was time for Lily to make the hardest decision in life: to leave her abusive husband behind and raise her daughter, Emmy, alone.
Why Did Lily Leave A Blank Note On Her Father’s Grave?
It Ends with Us began with Lily returning to her hometown in Maine, where her mother asked Lily to say five good things at her father’s funeral. The irony was that the girl who had seen her father beating her mother in front of her eyes and felt helpless throughout her life didn’t have anything good to say about that man. She struggled to even write one single thing, but it seemed like she wanted to write or say something good about it, and that might be the reason why she kept that napkin with her until the very end.
In It Ends with Us’ ending, Lily realized that sometimes you can forgive someone for who they are and things they have done, but loving them again, especially after seeing their true face, is a completely different story. Some people don’t deserve it, and she didn’t want to write good things about her father because society expected her to. He wasn’t a man who deserved his daughter’s love. He wasn’t a man who deserved his wife’s forgiveness as well, even though Jenny had made peace with it.
Will Atlas and Lily End Up Together?
Before dropping Lily back to her house after that tragic night, Atlas said one thing: if she’s ever ready to love someone again, he would love to be that person. But maybe Lily didn’t want to complicate things further, not until she had made her decision about Ryle. At that moment, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to leave him or not.
In It Ends with Us’ ending, Lily crossed paths with Atlas once again at the farmer’s market. He wanted to know if Lily made the brave decision to leave her husband or not. You see, Atlas had inevitably played an important role in shaping Lily’s decision. He had not only seen the violence at her mother’s place but also had been beaten black and blue by Lily’s father for seeing his daughter. Somewhere, Lily blamed herself for Atlas’s condition, and that was the reason why she was so sympathetic towards him when she met him again. Lily was happy to find out that Atlas had built a life of his own in Boston, the way he had promised her in college. And he only gave her the courage to do the same in hers. When they met again, Lily only wanted to know if he was seeing someone, and it was quite obvious that the man had been waiting for her this whole time. However, the road ahead isn’t as smooth as it looks in the film’s ending. In the sequel of the film, It Starts with Us, they will give their relationship a new try, but the haunting memories of Lily’s past would most likely make it difficult to date someone again. I am sure that no one understands Lily’s pain and trauma more than Atlas, but he can’t fight the battle for Lily alone. The best he could do was to wait and be with her when she needed him the most. So, whatever Lily’s final decision is, we will most likely find out in the next installment.
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