Movie review: Jesse Eisenberg’s ‘A Real Pain’ a poignant memoir tracing his Polish roots

“A Real Pain” (R)

At the Myrna Loy

I welcome films about male friendship, sometimes too flippantly called “bromances.”

Friendship movies are distinct from buddy films, which tend to be action comedies, although the line blurs at times. Movies about friends tend to be interior dramas.

My love of movies about friendship likely stems from my personal tendency to prioritize work over relationships. When work-life balance tilts too far toward the office, loneliness can be the price.

It’s not that I don’t have friends, but that I didn’t carve out enough time for them. They try!

Investors understand this relationship equation: Low investment, low return.

Memorable movie friendships range from Robert Redford and Paul Newman in “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” to Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden Church in “Sideways.”

Jesse Eisenberg’s new film “A Real Pain” focuses on the lifelong friendship between two Jewish cousins who take a summer trip to Poland to honor their late grandmother. She was born in Poland, before moving to the states after the war. Grandma Dory left the boys money for this trip to honor their roots.

The cousins are a stark contrast in style. David, the quiet one, is married, with a child, who is living a conventional life. Benji, the unfiltered one, is a weed-puffing guy who lives in his parents’ basement.

David (Eisenberg) and Benji (Kieran Culkin) were raised as brothers, we gather, and were inseparable as kids. Now, however, they have grown apart – one has settled down, while the other is still drifting and searching. Perhaps the trip will bridge the gap, bring them closer.

The cousins are part of a small tour, with a British guide who will introduce them to Poland and its history, ending at a concentration camp.

From the start, there’s tension between Benji and David, sometimes stemming from Benji’s inappropriate outbursts. Benji, a risk-taker, keeps prodding David to loosen up and take chances. The script relies on Benji to keep the lighten up a movie that will end at Majdanek, one of the Nazi concentration camps.

For me, the humor thermostat was turned up a few degrees too high. I felt Culkin should have toned down his scene-stealing performance. The cynical humor diluted a touching story that has its roots in the life of Jesse Eisenberg, who, himself, is the grandson of Polish Holocaust survivors. After filming in Poland, Eisenberg reportedly applied for Polish citizenship to affirm and honor his family history.

During the time in Majdanek the script turns down the banter, and becomes reverently solemn. We walk through the “showers” and see gas stains on the walls. We see the bolts on doors that prevented escape.

David and Benji are overcome by the deep sadness, as are we.

As for the friendship, the script is complex, suggesting they part without full reconciliation, and yet remain blood brothers. David tries to comfort Benji when he unravels, and Benji tries to get his friend to lighten up and laugh a little. Neither fully succeeds in “rescuing” the other, but it’s clear they love one another – more than that, they need one another.

The film is a heartfelt memoir by Eisenberg to his Jewish heritage and to his ancestors who died in the Holocaust. It’s a project of love.

I admired “A Real Pain,” without being deeply moved. The reason was the humor that kept jolting me away from Eisenberg’s very sad, touching trip back home.

Others may embrace and find relief in those lighter threads, I suspect. As for me, I was willing to stay in silence and darkness, to refresh my memory of a period we must never repeat.

I have visited the Holocaust Museum in D.C. Decades later I cannot shake the haunting images of the shoes, all worn by victims of the Holocaust.

“For the dead and the living, we must bear witness. Not only are we responsible for the memories of the dead, we are responsible for what we do with those memories.” — Elie Wiesel.