This post was originally published on here
By David Stephen
Sedona, AZ — Why would a woman not leave a physically abusive relationship? Some often say it is not that easy, given several number of factors. But, repeated domestic violence for most women hardly end well. So, why would a woman have the first or second instance and not just extricate herself from the situation? It is true that finance, kids, living arrangement, work, protection of the career, shame and so forth are factors, but another deep factor in the situation is emotion. Some women often have serious emotional attachment to some partners, making them stay or accept the partner back. While it is true that affectionate emotions can be useful to forgive in several less serious aberrations, domestic violence of any measure is dangerous. In trying to solve domestic violence, including the culmination in murder-suicide for some families, how can the emotional problems be isolated and starved?
What exactly is emotion in the brain?
This question means that what is the difference, at least, between a memory and an emotion. If someone sees a chair, what is the difference between that chair [as a memory] and anger or hurt [as an emotion].
Conceptually, every in-bound sensation to the brain goes for interpretation. This means that if a chair is seen, what results in making it known that it is a chair is interpretation in memory. The same for words, touch, smell, tastes and others.
The memory [or configuration] it matches in the brain, gives the result of what it is in reality. And for most humans, interpretations are mostly similar, where an automobile is an automobile, a cup is a cup, and so forth.
But emotions are often different for most people. The emotion of trauma may follow the interpretation of a sound, or the interpretation of an object for some individuals but not the same for others. Some people may feel love for a skill while others feel love for a machine, and on and on.
This indicates also that after an interpretation, many times, the relays in the brain proceed to find any [related] emotional destination, to follow it up with the experience. This, for example, can be said to be linked to survival. Say someone touches hot water, the interpretation of touch says hot, the emotion that follows gives unpleasant and to quickly disengage [This opens a new sequence or path becoming a fresh input into memory]. The same applies to doing something and then someone yells furiously. It could proceed to the emotion of fear, becoming a follow-up destination.
Now, whenever hot water is seen, there is almost an early relay in the brain, for interpretation of what it is, then the emotion that followed the last time, and a relay to memory of do not touch because of the emotion the last time. The same for the situation that caused the yelling and so forth.
In simple terms, after the brain interprets anything in reality, there is sometimes a further relay. This further relay could be another memory, of what it looks [sounds, smells or tastes] like, or the memory of what resulted after an emotional destination or even some could end up at an emotional destination.
The question then is that what is the architecture of an emotion that makes it powerful enough to create a strong attachment [or aversion] to something? If memory is basic interpretation and may mostly seem benign, why are emotions the grip that necessitates adjustments? Why are they dominant beyond [say] how a chair is seen in passing or a word is heard, but anger, hurt, love or hate can arrest?
The Architecture of Emotions in the Brain
Conceptually, just like memory feeds into emotions, emotions also feed into memory. For example, after a hurtful experience because of touching hot water, it feeds in to a memory of danger, or do not touch [as memory] so next time, even if the emotion is bypassed, it proceeds to that memory and caution follows.
However, there are often checks for other destinations, aside from just interpretations. Assuming that all destinations in the brain have shapes. This means that the memory of chair is a destination and has a [configuration-based] shape that makes it result in that interpretation. Therefore, will the shape of anger or hurt be the same as the shape of a chair?
So, it is possible to postulate that emotions have angular displacements. Simply, the reason emotions are daunting is because their shape [based on their configurations] are angular, so transmissions around them are in curvature, making experiences pleasant or otherwise. It is this power that makes emotions strong, conceptually, at least.
Configurations are theorized as the formation or the assembly of electrical and chemical signals, in sets, in clusters of neurons, across the central and peripheral nervous systems. This means that there is, most times, a specific configuration for every memory, feeling, emotion and for the regulation of internal signals.
Though, there are collections of configurations, especially where similarities exist and those collections can be used for interpretation. However, sets that hold configurations come to be shaped in some form that makes experiences different.
The emotion for love could be shaped like a line that is curved at the top, while that for hate could have detours in the middle, or at the entry. The emotions for affection could have circles and so forth. Simply, the fits that configurations are or match, are sometimes in different shapes, with those for emotions far more curved than those of memory, conceptually.
Emotions and feelings are similar with angular displacement. While memory and regulation of internal senses have similar [say near linear] shapes because they are for basic or direct interpretation.
Regulation, for example, gives the limits and extents of bodily functions, so interoceptive inputs and outputs are within a range, for say, respiration, circulation, and so forth. Just direct, there is little necessity for much curves [at configuration].
How to solve the emotional grip of domestic violence
There are several relationships tips that include marrying someone who would be willing to listen to you and adhere and whom you would be willing to listen to and adhere. And to remember to de-escalate if tensions are excessive.
However, sometimes things start well for some partners and end badly. So, solving the emotional anchor of domestic violence may have to involve conceptual brain science, at least to show the structure of emotions, and its likelihood for further relay into violence.
Simply, in some cases, after emotions follow interpretations, action may follow those emotions, depending on the intensity [of electrical signals in the set] or volume [of chemical signals in the set].
Now, domestic violence may be this action. For victims, the first thing will be to start to guage emotional states, of the self and of the oppressor. This means that, on average, in relationships, love and affection may not be at equal depths between partners. So, when there is an issue, the same thing applies, with respect to adherence and harm.
Now, to extricate from a bad situation, the first thing is to know that as soon as a partner gets violent, there has to be ways to disregard the relay of interpretation of the individual to love or affection area.
This means that in the heat of the moment, this may not be the case, but it will be useful to find a new way to prospect that as the change applies, even as the mind takes time to adapt to changes, it will be important to make dedicated efforts to divert away from love, to avoid feedbacks that may allow an easy, or careless return towards getting back, just by the emotional lead of a prior reality.
This may also work for some men, where, even if they are close to perpetuating domestic violence, they can realize that it may become a point-of-no return.
Solving DV
A path is to show what emotions are on the mind. Then to watch out the emotion that may lead to violence. There may also be the need to watch out for the recall of emotions that might make it necessary to go back to the individual.
Solving domestic violence can anchor as well on emotional architecture, at least conceptually, ensuring that balance is sort, in some form against horrible outcomes.
This will also be necessary against all forms of domestic violence, as well as provide answers against likely cases even before they simmer. This could become a dominant way to make emotional knowledge general in some ways, so that awareness is spread against risks that may result from the current opacity of the emotional makeup of the mind.
There is a recent story on WUSA9, Why Maryland wants your barber to spot the signs of domestic violence, stating that, “A new year brings a fresh slate of laws for Marylanders. While the bulk of legislation from the 2025 General Assembly session took effect last summer or fall, a select group of impactful changes officially launches on January 1, 2026.”
“From the barber’s chair to the driver’s seat, here is a look at the major shifts arriving this New Year’s Day.”
“The reasoning is rooted in the “chair-side manner” many professionals develop. Stylists often engage in deeply personal conversations, and this new training will teach them how to: Recognize the physical and verbal signs of abuse. Navigate sensitive conversations with potential victims. Safely connect clients to local resources and support groups.”
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