This post was originally published on here
By Brian Wish
A few years ago, someone close to me shared something important—really important—and I completely missed it. Not because I didn’t care, but because my mind was somewhere else. They felt it. I felt it. And it kept happening.
Call it lack of empathy, lack of presence, or lack of relational skill.
I took it personally. Because when you fail to see the people in front of you, the things that matter most quietly deteriorate behind you.
I didn’t want that to be my story.
Learning to Listen by Necessity, Not Talent
Around that time, I launched The One Away Show. In the early episodes, I was stiff and robotic. Someone would share a heartfelt moment, and I’d jump straight to the next question. No pause. No reflection. No space for depth.
But then I began practicing something simple and transformational:
Listen. Reflect back what they just said. Pause.
Then let the silence do the work.
And slowly, something shifted.
One day a guest cried, not because I asked something profound, but because they finally felt heard. That moment changed me. It showed me that listening isn’t just a skill; it’s a form of recognition. It’s a way of saying:
“I see you. You matter.”
Presence Leads to Brand Presence
(Why This Is at the Core of Arcbound)
Someone once told me a quote I’ll never forget:
“We only have the capacity to see in others what we see in ourselves.”
If you’re self-aware…
If you actually know who you are…
It becomes easier to hear what someone else is really trying to say.
You notice their desires. Their fears. Their ambitions. Their contradictions.
And suddenly conversations become richer, cleaner, more aligned.
This is true in friendships.
It’s true in marriage.
And it’s absolutely true in building a personal brand.
Because if you, the leader, can’t see yourself clearly,
You’ll never see your audience clearly.
And if you can’t see your audience clearly,
Nothing you say will resonate.
This is the bridge between presence and brand presence:
When you understand yourself, you understand others.
And that’s where meaningful content, leadership, and influence start.
That’s the essence of what Arcbound does.
We help leaders see themselves so others finally can.
The Shift Into Business (Jan 2024)
Early 2024 was a steep climb.
We needed revenue. We needed precision. We needed a turnaround.
And unexpectedly, the skill that mattered most wasn’t persuasion.
It was presence.
Every call, I took notes, not just on the problem, but on the person.
Where they were today.
Where they wanted to be tomorrow.
What they were running from.
What they were running toward.
The follow-ups were deliberate, specific, and caring.
People felt something rare:
They felt seen.
And once people feel seen by you, they trust you.
And once they trust you, they follow your lead.
This approach became a foundational part of Arcbound’s sales process. It’s one of the core reasons we form long-term partnerships built on confidence, clarity, and alignment.
Leadership in an AI-First World
We’re entering a world where AI will write faster, think faster, and produce faster (and often butter)
But speed isn’t the differentiator.
Discernment is.
Interpretation is.
Human insight is.
Nuance is.
AI is an extraordinary tool, but . . .
Humans made AI. Humans train it.
So it’s our responsibility to refine its output into something deeply human.
Tools don’t create connections.
Presence does.
And the leaders who can see people, and see themselves, will be the ones who win in this new era.
One Micro-Tactic You Can Use Today
In your next conversation, try this:
Listen.
Reflect back what the other person just said.
Pause.
Let them respond without you steering the direction.
You’ll be shocked where the conversation goes when you stop trying to control it and start letting someone reveal themselves.
Then, after the conversation, send a thoughtful follow-up:
A note.
A book.
An article that connects to what they shared.
It communicates two simple things:
“I listened.
You matter.”
And that’s a leadership act.
Seeing People Also Makes You a Connector
Something else happens when you truly see and listen to people.
You don’t just hear their words, you understand their context.
Their needs. Their style. Their inflection points.
And that understanding makes you an incredible connector.
The best introductions I’ve made weren’t random. They were rooted in presence.
When you notice who someone is, it becomes obvious who they need to meet.
You can match ambition to opportunity.
Struggle to support.
Idea to builder.
That’s not just networking. That’s leadership.
Tools That Help Me Capture What I See
These don’t replace presence, they amplify it.
- Granola: Our team loves it. Plus, Jack Cully’s personality is a brand in itself.
- ChatGPT: Plugging in Granola notes to get to the root of what you’re trying to capture
Two Quotes I Come Back To Again & Again
“Two ears, one mouth.”
A reminder that listening is leverage.
“The extra mile is never crowded.”
Because most people won’t go there. That’s why it works.
The Real Transformation
Today, I’m proud to say listening is one of my best skills.
I’m still human. I still wander into the future.
But when it matters. I know how to dial in, focus, and show up fully.
And that ability has changed my life, my relationships, and our company more than any strategy ever could.
—
This post was previously published on ArcBound.
***
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project, please join us as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
Photo credit: iStock
