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Annie Dillard, in The Writing Life, wrote, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing.”
Most days, we sail through life without fully understanding what guides us or why there never seems to be enough time for what makes us happy. We think about our purpose, our why, then get swept into the day-to-day as though we have no say. But moments like a new year or a birthday make us pause to ask how we can use that fresh start feeling to enrich our lives. There are many videos, articles, and social media reels showcasing life hacks, but which habits are actually backed by science?
By addressing a common issue, I hope to offer a roadmap for adopting and connecting with life-changing habits. I wanted to build a case study on connected habits for two reasons.
First, habit stacking is a powerful technique for building new habits by linking them to existing ones, making it easier to remember and implement new behaviors until they become part of our routine (and require less motivation and thinking). Second, it is easier to stop doing something (a to-don’t, if you like) if it is replaced by a different to-do from which we reap benefits.
Mind-Numbing Screentime (The Elephant in the Room)
Not all screen time leaves us feeling empty, even if it seems to steal our time. Breaking up with your phone may be a good idea for some, but for others, it may be a means of listening to music, working, reading, learning a language, or staying in touch with loved ones. What we actually want to do less of is the mindless part of screen time that leaves us feeling empty, numbed, or frustrated.
We want to avoid the hours we lose in bottomless scrolling, where our brain is taking in reel after reel in a zombie-like state (also known as brain rot) — the time that is giving us little to no joy back.
Like gambling, doomscrolling (the act of spending excessive time watching short-form content, particularly negative news on social media) requires no effort and, especially when we are already tired from our day, feels like the path of least resistance.
You may want to sit down for the next fact. It is estimated that by the end of our lives, most of us will have spent 15 to 20 years on our phones. If this doesn’t shock you enough, imagine being given 10 years to do anything you want, and now put that into perspective. This is referred to as opportunity cost — for example, the potential benefits foregone when choosing one option over another.
Mindless scrolling is a tough habit to break, but this isn’t because you are weak. The technology is designed to lull you into a state of inertia. And so, you need a plan backed by science. Here are five suggestions for how to disrupt this pattern.
#1: Teach Yourself Some Stopping Cues
When we watch a film at the movie theater, the titles rolling and the lights coming on are our cue to get up and leave. While driving, a red light indicates that we need to stop. We don’t spend our lives reminding ourselves of the meaning of these cues. We know them. So, what stopping cues can we use to help us break the screen-time habit?
Start by figuring out what causes you to start scrolling in the first place. If it is the ping of notifications, consider turning some or all of these off. Use an app to gamify focus time and block distracting websites for a set period. Engage in activities where you don’t allow yourself the distraction of scrolling, such as during meals, hobbies, or after-dinner walks.
If these are not enough, I challenge you to try this: set a physical boundary by placing your phone in a cookie jar for an hour each day. If you get an important phone call, you will hear it (so, no excuses!). Within a week, you will have gained seven hours of uninterrupted time.
Evaluate what you have gained and whether you can now increase the “cookie jar time.” Habits can take several weeks to form, not 21 days as we are sometimes told. It may feel clunky at first, so you will need to take additional measures.
Placing a mirror next to the area of interest (in this case, the cookie jar, though it could be a liquor cabinet or snack drawer) forces you to look at yourself during the established habit that you want to break. Research shows that the watching eye effect leads to more socially accepted behavior, even when it involves an image or your own reflection.
#2: Replace a Habit
You’ve put your phone in a jar. You might be relieved to focus on your work with no interruptions, but until you’ve formed a habit, you’re still in danger of going back to your old ways. If there is an activity you’ve always wanted to try, now is the time. If you’re cooking a new recipe or painting, you are less likely to want to pick up your phone.
If you want to organize your home to make it feel better to live in, dedicating an hour a day is a great way to see results in just one week. Persist with the habit for at least seven days before evaluating whether it was worth your time.
#3: Introduce Timeless Activities
Being in nature, listening to the ocean, hearing birds sing, taking your dogs for a walk, petting your cat —these activities change our perception of time and make it expand. What our short attention spans need is for us to turn the volume up on activities that introduce timelessness into our days.
They connect us to the earth because they have looked the same for so long in the history of humanity. Balancing our hurried lives with unhurried activities evens out our days, infusing them with more joy and a sense of more time.
Having face-to-face conversations with someone we love, writing, crafting, and meditation all bring a similar value of focused, satisfying time. They remind us that not every moment of joy, surprise, and laughter needs to be delivered in 20-second videos.
We need to remind our minds and bodies to disentangle from other habits that distract us from these feelings. Be patient with yourself and practice stretching your own perception of being in the moment.
#4: Journal
Connect your habits, stack them, and better understand what needs to change by becoming more conscious of how you spend your time. Make that honesty concrete by putting it down on paper. Don’t guess; truly track your time for a few days.
You might think you already block out your phone use for hours at a time, spend time in nature, and engage in other mindful activities, and that you’re living life to the fullest. If that’s the case and you’re happy, then congratulations. But if you’re reading this with the goal of getting more out of life, the first step is to audit how you actually spend your time.
You can journal to work through various problems, but for now, let’s look at energy and time. Evaluate your work and social interactions. Ask yourself which situations, activities, and relationships drain your energy and which ones recharge you. This might be difficult to admit, but this is why your journaling is a private activity.
There will be people and situations that drain you, but that you can’t eliminate. Is there anything you can do to make them drain you less or less often? Can you do more activities and see more people that make you feel great?
#5: Implement intentions
Vague promises like “I will stop scrolling so much” don’t work. Instead, implement counterhabitual intentions to snap a habit loop, and journal about it: “When I go to bed, I will plug my phone out of reach and read my book.”
While you’re at it, write down three or more things you’re grateful for daily. Research shows that gratitude activates regions in the brain associated with dopamine and serotonin release — the same “feel-good” hormones that keep us in the habits we want to break. Gratitude also builds resilience and decreases depressive symptoms, helping you during the challenging period of breaking a bad habit.
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