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Many of us have been cheated on at some point in our lives, or maybe we have been the ones to cheat. It’s one of the most painful and complicated scenarios we may ever face in a relationship. Yet, long after the betrayal happens, one question lingers: why? What causes people to cheat?
As it turns out, there’s no one-size-fits-all reason people have affairs. No two relationships are the same, and the reasons can be complex. Let’s take a closer look at eight reasons people cheat, according to science.
8 Common Reasons People Cheat
According to a 2018 University of Maryland study that researched hundreds of people who admitted to cheating, there were eight reasons people commonly cheated. Here’s what they are:
1. Anger
For some people, cheating can be a form of revenge. Betrayal, hurt, and resentment can make someone want to “get even” with their partner. Cheating can feel like a way to regain control or lash back at someone else’s hurtful behavior.
While this study doesn’t give examples, imagine someone finding out their partner was flirting with someone else online and then intentionally cheating to get back at them.
2. Sexual Desire
Sexual dissatisfaction is one of the most common reasons people cheat. If someone’s needs aren’t being met in the bedroom, they might look elsewhere for opportunities for sexual fulfillment. It’s not just variety they’re craving; it’s about seeking the connection that they’re missing in their relationship.
3. Lack of Love
Sometimes love fades, and when it does, the odds of infidelity increase. When the emotional connection or early spark with a partner diminishes, some people seek love and intimacy elsewhere.
4. Neglect
Feeling unappreciated can be incredibly painful. When a significant other seems emotionally distant or unresponsive, some people might start looking elsewhere for the attention, validation, and affection that the relationship is lacking. Neglect isn’t just hurtful; it can open the doors to cheating.
5. Low Commitment
Relationships thrive on clarity and investment. If one person’s heart isn’t entirely in it or if the relationship isn’t clearly defined, then one person may look elsewhere. If there’s low commitment, they may rationalize their decision as being morally acceptable. If the emotional anchor isn’t strong enough, the risk of one partner having an affair increases.
6. Situation
Being in the right place (or wrong place) at the right time is everything when it comes to infidelity. Situational factors, such as being on vacation, alcohol usage, or spending time apart from a significant other, all increase the chances of cheating. It’s not that the cheater plans for it to happen, but opportunities arise, and they don’t shut it down.
7. Self-esteem
Sometimes, people cheat because they want to boost their self-esteem. Over time, our confidence can fade in our relationships, regardless of the reasons. Some cheaters do it for attention, admiration, and sexual validation from someone outside of their relationship.
8. Variety
Some cheaters do it for the novelty or excitement that comes with a new fling. They find it thrilling to have sex with multiple partners. This is especially common for cheaters in long-term relationships where things have become routine and boring over time.
The Bottom Line
These eight reasons people cheat illustrate the complexity of affairs. From anger and undefined relationships to situational factors and self-esteem, there are so many different reasons people have affairs.
To prevent cheating in your relationship, it’s essential to prioritize open communication, clearly define the relationship, and explore ways to keep the spark alive. But know that no matter how hard you try, cheating can and does happen — and it doesn’t mean it’s your fault.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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